


"I was always here."

by weinsanedreamer



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Aftercare, Aftermath of Torture, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Public Display of Affection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weinsanedreamer/pseuds/weinsanedreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve goes missing one night after the team is done wrapping up a case that goes into overtime, everyone is worried sick and trying to find where he is. Danny goes off on his own to find his stranded partner who he prays is okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy reading this! ^^  
> I feel like a scene like this is bound to happen given how much shit Steve goes through in his life DX
> 
> This takes place after episode 10 of season 2 when Steve is double-crossed by Jenna and kidnapped by Wo Fat

“ Well I’m sure glad that’s over.” Chin dangles his keys in front of his cousin Kono like he’s trying to play a little game with her.

“Oh please, isn’t a Samoan mafia ring just part of your daily routine?” Kono jibes him bumping his elbow with hers. It’s already well past midnight but her enthusiastic attitude seems not to have waned from the late hour.

Chin gives her a tired smile catching him off-guard, “ Yes, unfortunately that’s something that never gets old.” His soft expressions hardens somewhat and he proceeds to walk down the hallway making Kono speed-walk to catch up with him.

“Um, Chin? Is something wrong? you seem a little preoccupied.” Kono knows her cousin well enough to know that he’s not someone to let his thoughts distract him from reality and sway him off-track. 

Her cousin notices her concerned eyes and sighs getting straight to the point wanting to get the weight off his chest so he can think clearly again.

“I just can’t get over how that one little boy we saved had to carry a gun to protect his family from that gang terrorizing his neighborhood..” he begins laying it out in flat terms. Kono can see her cousin's point here, she's understanding to the violence and suffering that dwells in the crazy city they live in. It doesn’t make it right given how natural it occurs on a daily basis, but the deep roots from their old traditions and way of doing things in society leaves justice to be questioned. 

“Chin? I’m confused..are you actually letting this get to you?” Kono is curious if there’s more to this that’s unnerving her usually collected cousin, or maybe it’s just the stress from the hectic case that’s filtering through Chin’s stable system that he’s always managed to keep tabs on so well.

“I don’t know, it’s not every day that an 8 year old comes up to me with a 47 caliber saying if he doesn’t use it his family will be killed.” Kono agrees, it’s an unfortunate fact that they have to deal with every day with struggling families left to survive in society like animals in a dark jungle. But she thought Chin had grown accustomed to it, since he had been in this hazardous line of work way longer than she had.

“I know cuz, I do really, but just try to rest up tonight and start fresh tomorrow, kay?” She pats his arm that’s tense with stress building up in his nerves like a tangled mess.

Chin removes his hand from his temple that’s coming out of a dull headache, “Yeah, thanks cuz.” he’s grateful for Kono's concern who always knows when something is on his mind. They were family, they always had each other’s backs, always.

“You guys heading home?” the twins turn as they’re opening the door walking out of HQ, it’s Lori Weston their new partner and team manager appointed by their newly-administrated governor who’s more strict when it comes to their extreme antics to get the job done. 

“Yeah.” Kono smiles in a welcoming manner, even though things were complicated with her at first with Steve not appreciating her presence for being their unnecessary “babysitter” as he liked to put it, she’s already a part of the family now.

“Sorry, I just wanted to catch up and leave with you guys, It feels weird being the last one out the door.” Lori loves being part of their little ohana that they's established, she wants to know them on a better level so she feels that she has purpose in her new job other than looking out for them.

"Oh Chin, that kid Akoni who we rescued wanted me to give you this." Lori hands him a dangling necklace with what looks like rope attaching itself through a carved out warrior's face made out of stone. It looks ancient and mysterious given the dust that settles around it. Nonetheless, he takes it gladly and a little curious.


	2. Chapter 2

Kono moves in closer investigating the peculiar object that has her and Chin both fascinated by it.

"Hey that's a-" Kono starts, her eyes wide and smiling taken off guard.

"A tailsman, yeah." Chin finishes directing his attention back to Lori who looks at the twins like she's missing something here.

"Can you fill me in on this guys?" she points to the necklace resting in Chin's palm."It looks important like it has a lot of meaning, I'm kinda new to all this."

"Well.." Chin smiles at her feeling good all of a sudden from the charming token, "This right here is Lono, god of fertility and peace.." he mentions smoothing his hands over the stone face trying to feel how old it might be.

"Oh?" Lori is intrigued as Chin goes on.

Kono stands there between them listening as her cousin explains their culture to Lori who's still new to their customs here.

"Yeah, in Hawaiian mythology, Lono is one of our traditional gods who existed before the world was created, his role was bringing peace to the world after war so people held festivals in his honor." Chin is reminded of his childhood days as a young boy being pounded into his brain the traditional folklore of his land by his well-meaning grandparents. They had insisted that they tell him and not some silly school teacher who would just skim through the information, not focusing on the real meaning behind their old traditions that had a way of being ignored in present time.

"So, it sounds like he gave it to you since you gave him peace of mind." Lori points out mentioning the young boy who gave it to Chin as a gift of appreciation.

"Yeah.." Chin gives her a warm smile looking at the necklace again that stares back at him with a wise expression like it's trying to enlighten him with all the good in the world. He's deeply touched by the sentiment.

The three stand there for a minute embracing the silence after another physically and mentally-draining day at work.

"Hey you guys look like you could use a drink." Kono chimes in her ponytail bouncing back breaking the wall of silence that echoes throughout the building.

Lori and Chin turn to her grateful for her cordial attitude that lightens their faces, Kono's smile is literally contagious and could make a complete stranger smile back more than willingly.

"Sounds good with me cuz, you in Lori?" Chin mentions toward the doorway with a pleasant grin, he stuffs the necklace in his holster belt so it's kept safe.

"Oh yeah-just let me get my purse first so I can pay." Lori makes a dash for the studio where she left her belongings in a hurry to catch her friends before they left without her.

"Don't worry girl, it's my treat." Kono says making her halt in the middle of the narrow hallway.

"Oh thanks, but my keys are in there so I want to be able to get into my apartment you know?" Lori calls out appreciating Kono's friendly offer and walks down the hallway, she opens the door to the studio seeing that it's still lit and spots her purse sitting on the computer screen where she last left it.

She's about to grab it and leave when she see can't help but notice Steve and Danny talking in Steve's office, they're not arguing like an old married couple for once which is a little out of the ordinary.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve is sitting down on his sofa with his face buried in his hands like he's either too tired of listening to Danny or just simply fell asleep on the poor guy.

Danny looks like he's raising his voice now, although she can't make out what he's saying through the screen glass that separates them.

He kneels down to Steve's level and touches his arm saying something. It looks like he's trying to be more gentle with his tone of voice with his partner who seems a little distraught right now.

Then Steve lifts his hands from his face meeting Danny at eye-level, he doesn't look like he's showing any emotion one way or the other so Danny gives him a minute to collect his thoughts and opens his mouth attempting to speak again.

But Steve surprises them both when he stands up not saying a word and then just opens the door leading out of his office and leaves Danny hanging.

Lori catches his dead zombie- looking eyes and just stands there which is unusual because he always has something to say to her. He's said before that she's like his overbearing physiologist who talks to him like she can read his body language which kinda rubs off him the wrong way.

He's adapting though.

"Steve are you okay? you look awful." and she has a right to be concerned, her boss's eyes are blood-shot and it doesn't look like he's been sleeping normally for awhile now. She begins to wonder where all his stress could be stemming from, he looks like he needs to go to the hospital to get a proper diagnosis.

"Well no wonder Danny was yelling at you, you look like you could fall down any minute." Lori gives him a serious look hoping he'll give her something to work with, but he just frowns rubbing his eyes as if that'll cure him right on the spot.

"Hey Lori, you coming?" Kono pops her head out the door wondering what the hold-up is.

"Oh yeah, hold on a sec." Lori directs her attention back to Steve letting him know that she hasn't forgotten about the issue at hand.

"Steve, I know you're probably not going to listen to me, but please remember to take care of yourself." Lori touches his shoulder so her knows that she only wants what's best for him. 

Danny comes out of Steve's office with a disappointed face and walks straight past them like they're not even there. He's frustrated that much Lori can tell, but she thinks it's just worry that he's trying to let his pride hold in.

It's clear he's made his point with Steve, but unfortunately he doesn't seem to be willing to meet him half-way.

This is definitely not a hallmark moment of their relationship.

And so Danny leaves them behind not even muttering a simple good-bye, Steve looks hurt but turns to Lori like it doesn't affect him and puts on a tough face.

"I appreciate you trying to help me out Lori, but I think I just need to go home now." Steve's voice is a little hoarse and strained but he's trying to act like nothing is wrong.

He gives her a small smile like it's literally all he can give her, but she's smart enough to not let it sway her better notions. 

So she decides to leave, seeing as how there's not much she can do to help now.

She hopes though, that the two will be able to work things out, she may not know Steve and Danny that well yet but from what she's observed over the time she's spent with them they have a really intimate bond. The kind that's sweet but can also hurt sometimes because of all the complications and trails that make you realize just how much you love each other.

~

It's a little past 1 o'clock in the morning when Lori and Chin and Kono exit out of the bar and drive away heading home for much-needed sleep, they all had a great time together talking about their personal lives and asking Lori to open up a little about herself. What they learned about their new friend was that she was an only child who grew up in New York with having her single mom raise her all on her own. She never knew her father and didn't really see the point in searching for someone who abandoned her mom who did everything she could to raise her into the woman she became to be.

High school she did the usual baby-sitting from time to time and worked at many part-time jobs as she could handle, she had to act as the bread-winner for her household when her mom had a mental breakdown and had to take things easy for awhile.

She many many friends in school but she was never the popular girl or home queen, she never had time for temporal things like that. Her education was what she solely focused on and she liked hanging out with different, interesting people who stood out from the crowd.

Chin and Kono were intrigued to hear more about their friend that they didn't know previously. They went on and opened up a bit about themselves, Chin explaining that he had worked alongside Steve's dad when he worked at HPD, Kono said she stroke luck when Steve asked her if she wanted a little extra credit before graduating from the police academy.

It had all seemed so interesting like it was fate that managed to pull the team together. It was apparent to Lori that the team were all like family and always had each other's backs.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s 2 in the morning when Chin wakes up to the sound of his cell going off, he picks it up wondering who could possibly be calling him at this hour.

He recognizes Danny’s number on the screen and answers it.

“Danny?” he asks wondering if there's a problem.

“Chin, look I’m sorry to bother you but Steve’s missing.” Danny’s voice sounds strained and a little on the panicky side so he tries talking with him to give him more information that he can work with.

“How do you know for sure?” he wonders out loud.

Danny sighs and pauses for a bit because he’s probably tired as hell but is overwhelmed with his mind racing at miles a minute here.

“I called Steve because I was worried since he didn’t good but his cell went to voicemail and I went over to his house and he wasn’t there.”

“Okay.” Chin nods, “Meet me at HQ and I’ll get Lori and Kono to help out.”

“Thanks Chin.” Danny sighs with relief grateful to have friends that he can count on when he needs it most.

~

" I don't get it, where would Steve even go?" Kono is perplexed by the current situation, she's still not fully awake yet and can't help but be confused as to why and how their boss could even go missing in the first place.

" I don't know." Danny is anxious when he speaks and his arms are crossed indicating that he wants to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible, who knows what kind of trouble Steve could be getting into.

"Do we know someplace he might have gone? Danny there was no sign of forced entry right?" Chin wants to get the facts straight and not take any presumptions into play. He's trying to handle this just like any other case they've all dealt with before.

"No, the door was locked when I checked but I had a spare key that Steve gave me soo.." Danny trails on that note because he finds it odd that no one seems to question him as to why he has a spare key to Steve's house. He knows that Steve trusts him and all with holding the fort down when he's not there or letting himself in whenever he wants to notify Steve of something or just hang out together.

Maybe he's just overthinking all of this, but maybe just maybe he's onto something here.

"I don't think we should notify anyone else about this just yet." Lori says interrupting Danny's intense thoughts.

Everyone's head turns and Lori feels their questioning eyes as she continues on, " If Steve is lost or something we should prioritize to find him in a secluded area without making too much of a big deal out of it."

"Why do you say that?" Chin is sitting down trying to act like the professional one here even if his other team-mates don't seem to be fairing as well.

"It's possible that Steve might be having a nervous breakdown and ran off because he didn't want to deal with it anymore." Lori is blunt when she speaks and doesn't try to sugar-coat it with more easy-going scenarios that seem harmless. 

That makes something in Danny's chest hurt, "Hold on- are you saying Steve's planning to kill himself?!" he raises his voice and Kono and Chin look back at him knowing how much Steve means to him, Danny knows Lori is just trying to help but she's making this seem worse by the second.

"The best thing we can do, is search in the general area near his house." Lori goes on not taking offense at Danny's agitation, she's aware that Danny is just really worried right now for Steve's safety and she is too but she's trying to have a more composed manner to this rather tense situation they're currently in.

"He couldn't have gone far off, he's probably just overwhelmed and trying to lie low somewhere where he can try to calm down."  
Lori knows this knowledge for a fact because she's dealt with it before given that her mother went through mental breakdowns often and lost herself wandering around the neighborhood and Lori had to go get her.

Danny grabs his car keys and is the first one to dash to the door, "Well, what are we waiting for? let's go."

Everyone gets up joining him and are soon out at the parking lot driving away in separate cars to cover more ground.

"I'll go down midway near downtown to see if he's reached over there just in case." Chin talks to Danny through his cell with Kono beside him since she's not fully alert to actually be driving now. She's trying but she has to force herself to blink a few times so she can focus in on what's in front of her. She probably drank too much when she went out with Chin and Lori for drinks and the bad mix of tiredness and alcohol is wearing her down for the time being.

" Kay, Lori said she'd check out the park down the street where Steve lives." Danny surveys the road where he's driving checking out each house that he sees for any hopeful sign of Steve.

"And you?" Chin asks wondering his train of thought here on Steve's designated location.

"I'm just going to check in the neighborhood, see if I missed anything." Danny has no idea where Steve might have ran off to, but his instincts are telling him to stay close.

"Alright, call me if you find him." 

"Yeah, sure." Danny puts his cell down by the car seat and pulls in by Steve's drive-way, he gets out and just looks around for a minute not sure of what he's trying to see. He sighs and decides to walk over to the ocean that stretches out across the island, it's a perfect night the waves are calm and then air is cool and feels good on your skin. There's a light breeze in the air and Danny is reminded of the fall weather he'd spent in New Jersey for most of his life, it brings a sense of nostalgia to his tense mind and he lets him self relax a little taking a deep breath. Then he hears a crack in the dense foliage near the palm trees that loom over Steve's house, he goes over investigating it since the sound came from far away, it's very distinct and Danny knows he's not just hearing things.

And then that's when he sees it, Steve comes into view his shirt is drenched and Danny doesn't think he took a late-night dip, he rushes to him as fast as he can because he thinks Steve might fall over soon if he doesn't get to him in time.

"Steve!" Danny yells making Steve face towards him so he's fully aware of his presence.

For a moment Steve just stands there dumbfounded, his body is limp and it hurts to even move a muscle. His head twitches and he winces from the pain trying to bear with it. Danny doesn't know what the hell is wrong with Steve but his body moves on its own when Steve's voice breaks into a barely-audible "Danny?" 

He runs into him grabbing a hold of his body, his muscles feel too tight and he's panting too hard it feels like he's on the edge of being torn apart.

"Shhh..Shhh..It's okay, you're okay, I'm here." Danny's voice is sweet and reassuring, he knows Steve like a book and somehow just knows the right words to say.

For a while Steve doesn't speak, the pain is literally unbearable but Danny feels safe like an anchor that he can hold onto.

Steve's arms slowly wrap around Danny, he holds onto his shirt his fingers digging into him because he's struggling so much and Danny is the only thing that makes him feel calm inside.

"Jenna, Dad they're all dead because of me, everything's my fault! I can't do anything right! I can't save anyone." Steve sobs into Danny's shoulder and lets all his fears and insecurities out exposing this sensitive, vulnerable side to his best friend who will always hear him out and not judge him in return. Danny's hearts aches with bitterness because he didn't think Steve would let things get to him this bad. He's mad at himself for being able to tell the sings and do something about this sooner before it got to this extent. "Steve, that's not true, you're being way too hard on yourself." Danny's voice is gentle when he persuades with him, it's not harsh in a "man-up" sort of way. He's being kind almost too kind making Steve feel like he couldn't possibly deserve it. "Danno, you don't know what I went through, all the pain and guilt it eats you up inside." Danny sighs but then says, "Yes, you're right, I don't know what you went through, but what I do know is that you tried your hardest, you do that with everything babe..that's why I love you." Danny runs his hand over Steve's mess of sweat-drenched hair and and rubbing his back in slow, careful motions as to soothe him so the anxiety festering inside can wash away.

"You feel everything so deeply Steve, you need to be good to yourself first." Danny tightens his hold on Steve's stiff shoulder blades reaffirming his partner that he's right here and won't leave his side until he feels better.

"Danny..thank you." Steve's voice is still weak and not himself but his chest feels warm rushing with relief from Danny being so good to him.

"I know, I know, that's what partners are for right?" Danny knows that they've been working together for awhile now but he's been onto Steve for some time noticing all those lingering glances and affectionate smart-talk that just makes him all the more endearing.

"I should probably call the others to let them know you're okay." Danny moves away for a second and calls Chin glancing back and forth at Steve every so often, he's still uncomfortable with Steve limping around like that like he's going to fall over if Danny isn't there to watch out for him.

"Chin?" Danny taps into the line

"What's up did you find Steve?" Chin asks

"Yeah, he's-he's okay but he doesn't look that great so I'm going to take him to the hospital." Danny doesn't think Steve can just go back to bed and forget about this, he needs proper treatment and help.

"Alright, me and Kono will meet you there, I'll call and let Lori know." 

"Thanks man." Danny hangs up directing his attention back to Steve, he's still shaking as he's standing probably because the cool air and the sweat on his skin is making him cold. Then Danny remembers something.

"Steve, just sit down here for a second." there's a forgotten lawn-chair sitting in the grass and Danny directs him toward it touching his shoulders as he lightly set him down.

"I'll be right back, just hold on." Quickly Danny dashes to his car opening the trunk and taking out a long blanket that Grace likes to have whenever it's cold and she's driving with her dad in the car taking her to spend the night with him whenever he can get permission from Rachel.

It's tough, but he takes what he can get.


	5. Chapter 5

He runs back to Steve as fast as he came and wraps it over his shoulders so he's not freezing to death.

"That better?" he pats his back and goes to sit down settling right next to him so he can share his body heat that Steve's lacking.

"Yeah..thanks." Steve mutters looking out to the ocean, the tides are pulling in and out slowly with the moonlight casting a glow over the beach that makes it a peaceful sight like nothing could ever go wrong.

Danny looks at him for a moment and thinks about saying something but reconsiders it because he doesn't want to upset Steve more than he already is.

"Do you- do you hold this in all the time?" Danny goes and asks him anyway because he wants to get this off his chest. 

"What?" Steve turns 

"This-this whole I'm too tough for this persona and then you just end up bottling everything in, why do you do that yourself?"  
Danny stares at Steve wanting an honest answer, he just wants his partner to open up to him and let him in.True it might not be as easy as it seems but Danny isn't here to judge, he just wants to listen.

Steve gives him a weird look, that aneurysm face that always has its way of slipping out when something gets to him.

"Danny, you don't get it, I've been trained to handle stuff like this, that's what they teach you in the Navy." Steve knows that Danny is only trying to look out for him but when it comes to deep, raw feelings like this that he tries to hide so well he's taken aback when someone goes and points it out to him.

"I don't care what they teach you Steve, just because you have to deal with stuff like this doesn't mean you have to go through it alone."

"Danny-" Steve puts out a hand

"No Steve, for just once listen to me."

Steve sighs begrudgingly but gives him his full attention seeing as how he's not going to let this go. 

"Look, you're the one who's always told me that I'm not alone even though the only reason I came here in the first place was to see Grace." Danny hints at the meaningful moments Steve and him have shared together.The crazy days where it seemed like nothing at all was going Danny's way but Steve being the charming son of a gun he was always knew the right thing to say to make Danny laugh or to make his day a little more bearable.

"But.." he begins

"I'm here to tell you, that you're not alone either, I've got your back." He sighs and touches Steve's back that makes him feel warm and protected.

"You know that, right?"

He's being really serious with this matter and Steve can't help but feel a little happy

Steve opens his mouth to say something because his head starts aching and his mind feels like it's spinning in circles and won't stop.

"We should get you to the hospital now.'' Danny stands up and starts to life his arm up but Steve slaps it away for some reason.

"Steve?" Danny tries again this time being as delicate as possible, Steve's in a fragile state he gets it, But Danny can't help but think that his behavior is odd. It's like he's battling something that he can't see.

"NNnnngggghh.." Steve writhes in discomfort he presses both hands into his skull covering his ears. There's a loud, constant ringing and Steve thinks he catches glimpses of his dad and Jenna and everyone else he's tried to save but couldn't. 

It's killing him, all this pain mixed with regret and guilt is rushing out making him feel like his mind is bleeding from all the feelings and doubts that pull at him making him feel weak and worthless.

Everything is too much and then Steve hears Danny's voice, it's pleading and trying to reach him. He blinks and notices that Danny is touching his hands where they're cupped over his ears and brings them down holding his hands that are shaking slightly with sweat. He looks at Steve and pulls him over walking to where his car his parked and pulls the gear in reverse driving away.

Steve is right beside him in the passenger's seat and they just sit like that in silence for awhile not making idle conversation until Danny comes to a red light turning to Steve.

"Your head still hurt?" Danny thinks talking might help Steve out seeing as how he looks calmer now but still on edge.

"I don't know.." Steve mumbles incoherently making it hard to understand him, it's almost like he holds back at being heard even though it's just Danny here.

"What?" Danny asks again putting his feet on the accelerator noticing that the light has turned green now.

Steve gets a little irritated now because the pain is till there but he's clutching his seat-beat strapped to his chest and speaking isn't really helping him right now.

"I said I don't know Danno! I don't know what the hell to think, I don't want to think!" Steve is restless in his seat and Danny knows he's not at his greatest right now so he just says "Okay, that's okay I get it, you don't need to talk if you don't want to."

Danny's careful not to push his limits right now and continues on driving into the intersection where the words "Honolulu Medical Center" come into view on bright, florescent letters on a tall immense building that hovers over the island.

They go into the hospital wing Danny holding Steve's hand steady as they walk in, the blanket that Danny give him is still laid out over his back because the slight breeze in the air causes goosebumps to prickle on Steve 's skin and the sensation is unpleasant.

The team is all standing there huddled in a circle talking anxiously and when they notice Steve relief washes over their tense expressions, they're happy to see that their boss and close friend is in one piece.

They don't want to overwhelm him by loading him with questions and hugging him because that would be too much for Steve to handle right now, so instead they do small things like pat his back or touch his arm gently because they can't help themselves.

Steve is grateful for their concern but doesn't feel like talking much right now so he just sits down in the waiting room until Chin comes out of the clinic's main office with a doctor walking alongside him.

Danny is seated next to Steve and he looks at him to see what got his attention.

The doctor next to Chin is an older man with gray thinning hair and kind eyes and he asks for Steve by name, Steve glances at Chin a little confused.

"I asked for Dr. Callaway here to see to you that you got taken care of right away." Chin mentions to Steve gesturing towards the doctor.


End file.
